Nic & Casey Porter Family II: a weekend in Heber

Friday, December 9, 2011

a weekend in Heber

Nani, Mom (me), Nanis sisters and Niece spent the weekend in Heber, bagging 60lbs of green chilies, eating too much food, dancing and having fun. It was nice hanging out with family I havent been with in forever.

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Oh mY cHiLDreN

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Nic: Im so sick of everyone being allergic to random things. Im allergic to sugar, it makes me fat!

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Ashly 2-3:Will you ddx play?

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Maddi 5: (whispering into Nics ear) Daddy, the man behind us is cigaretting, gross.

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Mom:Whats your name?

Ashly : Juan Plablo mom, I pooped

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Ashly:Go brush your teeph, somethin smells like poo

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Ashly:uck (hug)

Ashly:Hememe (Shes mean to me)

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Mom: Halle, will you please go get my pants out of the dryer.

Halle:Which ones?

Mom: My tights, my stretchy pants.

Halle: (in a deep trying to be hispanic voice) Chancho...can I borrow some streeetchy paaants

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Maddiisms: tomorning= tomorrow morning

lasterday=yesterday

fourlaminutes=later

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Maddi always addresses her daddy as "Handsome Dad"

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Maddi:Papa, when I want it I just say averenatthedavra.
Papa:You say what?
Maddi: I will teach you, say avren (papa repeats) at the (papa repeats) davra (papa repeats).
Ok papa, that wasnt right! Say it like me, avren at the davra.
(Aaabracadabra....aka:avren at the davra)
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When Maddi starts a story, she says "There wasapolatime there was a man....."
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Maddi:Mom, your teef arent so white, I think you should brush them
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Halle: Mom, you know Im confused. I am bigger than Ashly, and older than Ashly and dont understand why her boobs are so much bigger than mine
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The following happened during a bubble bath where the girls were adding beards, mustaches, bellies, and anything else they could build with bubbles....
Halle:Mom, Heavenly Father is so smart
Mom: Yes, he is...why?
Halle:Well, he knew that girls just dont look good with beards. I glad he figured that out before I was born cuz I dont want a beard.
Mom:*thought* well, you better enjoy that now!
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Mom:C'mon girls, its time to get ready for bed.
Halle:Maddi wont brush her teeth mom!
Maddi:Halle dont be a taddle butt, I will brush my teef tomorning! Dont tell mom.
(all the while mom can hear their conversation that continues)
Halle:Im gonna tell that you called me a butt
Maddi:I have a butt too
Halle:Dont say that Madd
Maddi:Youre a butt
Halle:Moooom! Maddi called me a....
Maddi: No huh Halle, I sayed you haved a butt!.....(then she walks away, and under her breath says....."you taddle butt")
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Maddi was playing house this morning.
Casey was the little sister
Maddi was the mom
Maddi:C'mon daughter, we're going to the mall.
Mom: Na, I wanna stay home
Maddi: (now at the pretend mall) Escuse me, ma'am, I need to return this, I need a new one.
(this is only funny to those who know that I am always returning something!)

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(During a "ticklefest")
Mom:You are my guitar Maddi
Maddi:Stoooop, Im not a ticitar
Mom:Are you my drums?
Maddi:No, stoooop
Mom:What are you then??
Maddi:Im just a somebody mom!
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Mom: Maddi, go tell dad its time to get ready for church for some spiritual guidance.
Maddi: Hey dad, we need scarry vitamins! Lets go.
(scarry vitamins=spiritual guidance)
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The following are oldies, from my dead blog...Im trying to bring some of it into our new blog so I dont lose it all for good.
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Mom:Maddi, get off my phone!Maddi: Mom, I can how talk to Beebonca! (aka:Bianca)
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Maddi: Where we goin mom?Mom: To Hell if we dont change our ways. (I know, I know, Im a bad mom)about an hour later....Maddi: Mom, can we go to Hell Soopers for some snacks?(our local grocery store is "King Soopers")
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Halle:Mom, did you know Mrs. Claus has 1300million kids, those are the elves.
Mom:What?!? Thats a lot of kids Halle.
Halle:Do you know why she has so many?
Mom:Nope, but I bet your gonna tell me.
Halle:Yep, I am. Its cuz they have the make and deliver toys to kids in China AND michigan!
Mom:*laughing* wow Halle, Michigan too?!?!
Halle:*looking at mom like shes dumb* Um, whats so funny mom?
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Maddi:Mom, I want happy juice!
Mom:Um, dont know what that is, come show me.
Maddi:Right there mom, the happy one.(I pull out the koolaid) and ask:Why do you call it happy juice?
Maddi:(Looking puzzled)um, cuz mom, it makes me happy.
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Maddi:(during daddyless family prayers) ...and please bless my daddy to come home and not leave me no more"
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Maddi:Hold you me mom, just hold you me
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Maddi:(pottytraining) Mom!!! Please dont flush my baby, he comed out of my belly, hes just a baby poop"
Mom:Maddi, hes gross and stinks
Maddi:Can you take his pichure?(obviously I carry a camera everywhere and take pictures of everything, but come on Maddi!)
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Halle:Mom, I miss Uncle Jesse.
Mom:Really, why?
Halle:Cuz he let me pull his finger, remember when he would ... you know...he asked me to pull his finger and he would... you know mom!*****************************
Halle:Mom, you need to get a job.
Mom:I have a job!
Halle:Watching your kids and shopping all day is NOT a job, you need to make some money.
Mom:Are you kidding me?
Halle:No mom, Im serious, shopping and sitting on your butt is not a job!
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Mom:Mom & Dad are going on a date tonite, do you want to go play at the Club?
Maddi:I wanna go mom, but you cant go to the beach, your bum bum is just too big. (?!?Who said anything about a beach?)
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Mom:Come on Girls, its time to go home. We have been here an hour and a half already.
Halle:Mom, can we please stay for an hour and a whole?
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While in Sacrament, the speaker was talking about the Liahona, and said "They used the Liahona to help them find food..."
Halle:Mom, why didnt they just go to the grocery store?*****************
Maddi comes into our bed this morning to wake us...
Maddi:Dood morning tuna fishers
Mom:Maddi, come lay down and go to sleep, mommys tired
Maddi:Mom, why is baby ashly in my bed? (she was in MY bed)
Mom:Just go to sleep Maddi
Maddi:But its up time, I want pannicakes.
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Halle: Mom, does Heavenly Father know everything you say?Mom: Ya babe, why?
Halle: Well, I think you should stop talking so mean to me then.
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Mom: "Maddi, stop scratching your crack"
Maddi: "its not my crack, its my butt!"
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Halle at age 3: "Mom, I think she has the wrong boy in her cart" (when a different colored lady was pushing a different colored boy)
Mom: "Halle, we will talk about it when we get home, please be quiet"
Halle: Scuse me mam, I think you got the wrong boy today" (as I walk as fast as I can past her cart)
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Mom: "Daddy is coming home to watch you while mommy goes to clean."
Maddi:"Oh yay, my daddy, I luf heem sho(love him so) much, he sho teute(so cute) mom"
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Maddi: "Daddy, yeeer home!" every time he gets home from work/school
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Maddi: (while looking at my bare belly) "Mom, I pokey baby miwey(Miley)? Is she seeping? (then talking at my belly) did you have a good seep baby miwey, I wubbed you".
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Maddi: "Mom, I smell sumpin, it stinks, daddy pooped in my diaper again"
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Maddi is so dang funny lately with the things she says, I wish I could write them all down, but some are too embarrassing for me to share, this one however, I just had to because I was laughing so hard I was crying...guess you had to be here!Maddi: (after someone tooted) Eeeeew, yer need to potty dad (then she went to his pants and said "Wemme see in der, you need to change yer diaper"
Mom: laughing sooo hard
Maddi: mom, shut yer mouf, the baby is sweeping. Daddy yer still smell stinks.
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As we are walking through Target today, we passed an older (very) man in a wheel chair, very heavy with white hair and beard.
Maddi: Mom, wook, its Shanta! Shanta says Ho Ho Ho. HI SHANTA!! Why Shanta so fat mom?
Mom: Maddi, you need to be quiet, hes going to hear you and thats not Santa.
Maddi: Ya Huh mom, HI SHANTA!
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Maddi: Halle yer need yer diaper changed.
Halle: No Maddi, you stink, not me!
Maddi: No Halle, its yer brefs (breath)
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